[Excerpt from chapter 350]
Hamill smiled but his smile was riddled with pain.
“But before I do that, before I do this, let me just ask one last question.”
Even though he knew the answer, he couldn’t give up. Hamill’s lips were parched, yet he opened his mouth.
“If you had married me instead of Tarkan, would you have loved me?”
Episode 40: Lu (6)
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Aristine stared at Lu in silence for a moment.
It was foolish to ponder about something that had never happened and would never happen in the future. Because despite knowing it will actually never happen, you end up clinging to an impossible presumption.
However, she could sense Lu’s desperate desire to cling to even that.
Without hesitating or pondering further, Aristine replied.
“We would have become good friends.”
Because Lu already knew the answer.
“Just like we are now.”
Despite that, he couldn’t help but ask.
“Haha.”
Lu let out a dry laugh.
If I had met you first, if I had married you instead, I would have loved you.
It was very much like Aristine to not even entertain such foolish remarks.
It felt like sharp thorns were stabbing into his chest.
He was wrought with pain.
Yet all he could show externally was laughter.
After laughing for a while, his head became clearer.
Lu gently closed his eyes and re-opened them.
His vision was clear. Aristine’s face was right before his eyes.
He gazed at her face as if he wanted to engrave it in his mind then he slowly opened his mouth.
“As your friend, I’ll wish you happiness.”
As the words left his mouth, he was thankful that his voice was at least audible enough.
Lu flashed a smile then added playfully.
“I know I said don’t be too happy but I cancel that.”
Aristine furrowed her brows.
With a mischievous smile still on his face, Lu continued.
“Be happy. Be the number o—.”
Happiest.
Lu stopped speaking for a moment. His breath caught in his chest.
“…The number two happiest in the world.”
He was trying to feign calmness, but it wasn’t working out.
“Because I will be the number one happiest person.”
It was a lie that was so blatantly obvious.
“You’re too much.”
However, Aristine only narrowed her eyes and retorted playfully.
Like she didn’t notice his trembling voice or the pained quiver in his eyes.
Because of that, Lu was able to keep his smile from fading.
“It might be much, but I will also be wishing you happiness as a friend.”
“Thank you.”
Aristine stared at Lu in silence for a while.
She never thought a smiling face could look so sad.
Nevertheless, Aristine could not extend her hand to him. Because compassion from her would be torture to him.
She could only hope that the passage of time and broadening of connections would resolve everything.
‘I can’t do what Lu wants, but…’
After hesitating for a moment, Aristine opened her mouth.
“As a friend, may I say something for your sake?”
“You can say anything.”
Aristine cleared her throat and cautiously uttered.
“Won’t it be better to tell His Majesty the King?”
Lu’s face immediately hardened.
“Prince Hamill is dead.”
His voice was rigid despite speaking of his own death.
“But you are still his son.”
“Rineh, this discussion…”
“Even if you are not a prince, he will think of you as his son, no matter what you look like.”
Hamill shut his mouth.
Images of his father scolding him, praising him, criticizing him, comforting him. All of it swept through his mind.
Nephther, the king of Irugo, cherished Tarkan.
Hence, he kept the Queen’s power in check, which also included Hamill.
‘But…’
As a father, Nephther loved his son, Hamill.
But because of the political strife and the rapidly developing situation with the death of his mother and his maternal family, Hamill had forgotten that at some point.
“Of course, the decision is up to you.”
Hamill gazed at those serious violet eyes looking up at him. If it were someone else saying it, he would have thought they were rude.
“…Perhaps one day, I will tell him.”
His heart instantly softened when he saw those eyes.
“If a day comes when I’ve found my way in life, and I feel like I’m somewhat happy, even if I’m not the happiest person in the world.”
Hamill smiled.
“At that time, I will go see my father and my sister.”
Aristine looked relieved and nodded her head.
On the one hand, her heart ached. Because of Hamill’s answer, she realized something.
‘He feels guilty.’
Even though it was not his fault, he was riddled with guilt over the deposed queen and the Skiela family.
Because he survived instead of dying together with them.
Aristine wished he wouldn’t think like that.
“Although he’s gone, there is one thing I really wanted to say to Prince Hamill.”
Aristine looked straight at him and parted her lips.
“Thank you so much for saving me and my child.”
Lu—Hamill’s breath caught for a moment, and he stared at Aristine.
Her eyes were focused on him, her lips were filled with sincerity and her cheeks were vibrant.
The bitterness in his chest felt like it was melting away.
It was done.
Her gratitude made him feel like everything was going to be okay. How could this woman control his emotions so easily?
Hamill curled his lips softly and smiled.
“He deserves the thanks. With that prince’s personality, he’s definitely not the type to do something like that.”
His large hand stretched out towards Aristine. However, he couldn’t reach her and only grabbed the air, before allowing his hand to fall.
Hamill smiled brightly, suppressing the disappointment of his empty hand.
“But it was someone worth sacrificing his life for.”
His face was covered by the rays of the early summer sun.
Translator’s Corner:
*Hamill is speaking in third person. It is not an error.
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I hope Hamill finds someone that makes him happy someday
I wish that someday Hamill can be happy, and reunite with his father.
Thank you for the upload, Miss Ruby!
Hamil’s situation is bittersweet. I hope he finds his way, and he becomes happy. Maybe he can find love for himself as well. He has plenty of time, so I’m sure he’ll be fine.
U can’t do this to me, I’m at work so how can I criiiiiiii 😭😭😭
Hamil, I always felt conflicted when I thought of him. But these past chapter solidified my feeling towards him. I respect him and I wish he finds all the happiness in the world.
The new chapter was delayed, why?
ah.. como estava contente com a redencao dele, que ele ocnsiga setornar uma pessoa melhro e se perdoe… existem muitas pessoas no mundo, no mndo deles tbm, e com certeza encontrará , alo autora, uma mulher melhor que nossa prota!! maelhor pra ele !!
I’m glad Aristine kept her boundaries with him. He still has a lot to work on in himself. And I hope he understands that Tarkan was always the one for Aristine since he’s her flower and his golden eyes are proof of that. And technically, she and Tarkan met when they were kids, too so I’m glad she said they would’ve been friends even if she had married him. He was already chasing after a dream and I hope he finds his reality.
The mixed feelings that hamill gave me is too heavy. I dont know, I hated him yet I love him 🥺💔