“T–tonight, I don’t want to!”
Silence fell like a curtain. Zester blinked rapidly, frozen like ice as he processed Cassia’s words over and over.
When she finally removed her hand from his mouth, his expression was quite the sight.
A perfect storm of shock, horror, and confusion.
Cassia’s throat moved slightly. They stared at each other for a long while before Zester, finally came to his senses, scrambled off her and rolled over to face the other direction.
“S-sorry. I…”
“No. There’s nothing to be sorry for. I’m just not feeling well today.”
“No, no. I should’ve realized that. I’m such an idiot.”
Zester squeezed his eyes shut and scolded himself harshly in his mind. The memory of their first night together, how poorly it had gone, and how Cassia had come to him the next day yelling ‘I came to hate it after we did it!’, replayed in his head like a nightmare.
He should have never forgotten that he was the only one who ever seemed to enjoy it.
Barging into her room the moment night fell, pressuring her to sleep, and climbing on top of her like a beast, how could she not hate it?
Just when they were finally starting to grow closer, he hadn’t controlled a moment of animalistic desire and now look at the mess he’d made!
“It’s all my fault. I’m trash.”
“What?! No, how did we jump straight to ‘trash’?”
“No, really. I’m trash, a beast. I’ll reflect on it. Come to think of it, lately, you’ve barely had any time to rest because you’ve been doing everything in my place. I’m seriously hopeless.”
At this point, Cassia began to wonder if he was doing it on purpose to make her feel guilty. Her lips parted in disbelief, then she sighed. But she knew better. Zester wasn’t the type to manipulate others like that. He was truly overwhelmed with embarrassment and regret.
Honestly, Cassia had been enjoying their increasingly active marital relationship. Even now, lying beside Zester, his familiar scent, his broad masculine shoulders, the strong curve of his neck, just seeing him stirred her body. But the absence of her cycle was making her mind too preoccupied to focus.
She wanted to explain, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t say to the clueless Zester, ‘I don’t want to get pregnant, so let’s refrain from doing it for a while.’
They were married, after all. And with no heir in Greze yet, it made perfect sense that they would be trying for one.
Well, it didn’t seem like Zester was coming to her every time with the sole goal of producing an heir, but still…
She claimed she wasn’t feeling well, yet she could already see Zester agonizing inwardly over whether there was some other reason. Cassia let out a faint, fluttering sigh. It wasn’t something to feel sorry for, but it nagged at her.
“Um, ahem, really, I just don’t feel well today, that’s all. You can go sleep in your own room if you want. It’s okay for us to sleep apart tonight.”
She truly meant it as considerations, but Zester’s shoulders flinched at her words. As he slowly rolled over, his face wore a look that practically screamed betrayal.
“W-what?”
“…?”
“I said I was sorry…”
“Huh? Sorry for what now?”
“You’re kicking me out.”
There it was again. That face, like a puppy left out in the rain. Cassia stared at him, baffled, then gave up on guessing and just asked outright.
“I mean… wouldn’t it be uncomfortable to lie next to each other if nothing’s going to happen? That’s why I said you could go.”
“What?!”
Zester’s face went pale. Just how much of a beast do you think I am? He was so shocked he couldn’t speak.
He couldn’t blame Cassia, though. With the way he’d behaved in the past, she had every reason to think that way.
Letting out a heavy sigh, Zester looked away like a child being scolded and spoke quietly.
“You’ve misunderstood me. I don’t come here just to… to do that. It’s just that when you’re not beside me, I miss you and when we’re apart, I want to be with you, and I like waking up together. Of course, I acted badly just now, so it’s understandable why you would think that. I’m not blaming you, so please don’t worry.”
Cassia looked at him in surprise. Both of them had always struggled to express their feelings, but this time, despite his embarrassment, Zester had managed to give a decent explanation.
『When you’re not beside me, I miss you. When we’re apart, I want to be with you and I like waking up together.』
“Um, Honey, I didn’t think you acted badly just now. So don’t worry about that.”
She reached out and gently stroked his cheek, trying to comfort him. Startled by the warm touch, Zester flinched finally met her gaze again.
“And you’re not hopeless, either. I’m not taking over for you. I’m just handling the things I started. You’ve been busy too, haven’t you? Training the soldiers and all that. If anyone heard us, they’d think you do nothing while I suffer all alone.”
As Cassia said, both of them had been busy. Zester was swamped, training the newly formed barbarian troops in the territory. He spent all day tied to the training grounds then came back at dusk to wash in a hurry and head straight to his wife.
It was exhausting, even though he enjoyed having men to train again. And now, hearing his wife acknowledge that made his chest tighten with warmth.
Now matter how he looked at it, she was far too good for him. And when her gentle hand touched his cheek, his body stirred again, proving, once more, that she was an angel, and he really was trash.
‘You bloody bastard.’
Zester clenched his tights and swore under his breath. He carefully closed the distance between them and cupped Cassia’s hand which was on his cheek.
“It’s hard to just look at you and do nothing but I still prefer having you by my side. So please, let me keep sleeping next to you. Don’t kick me out, even if you’re not in the mood.”
Cassia blinked a few times, then gave him a soft smile and nodded.
“Okay. Then give me your arm for a pillow.”
“…Huh?”
It would be really hard but if she asked, he was going to do it. Zester extended his arm, and Cassia nestled against him. As her scent drifted around him, he held his breath and closed his eyes.
“We leave the day after tomorrow, right?”
“Hm? Oh, for Ruberno? Yes. Why, will you be busy?”
“No, no. I’ll be fully prepared.”
“Prepared for what?”
Even without looking, he knew she was tilting her head and looking like a little fairy. Forcing his eyes shut, Zester turned his face toward the ceiling and muttered quietly.
“To properly greet the Count and express my lifelong gratitude for letting me have a wife like you. I might even sign a slave contract while I’m there.”
***
The departure date for Ruberno arrived quickly.
The ‘full preparation’ wasn’t just on Zester’s part. Cassia, too, had packed a few wigs perfectly suited to her mother, the Countess of Ruberno, and her younger sister, Estella’s, tastes.
Ruberno, boasting the largest territory in the South, had many wealthy subjects. Cassia planned to test the commercial potential of wigs there.
She felt a little guilty that the gifts had more business than familial intentions behind them. Meanwhile, Zester spent two full days sitting with Paul, agonizing over suitable gifts until he had loaded a carriage up to the brim.
After a grueling week-long journey, the Ruberno Castle came into view. Glancing out the window, Zester’s face was taut with nerves. His throat bobbed continuously, and his fists clenched and unclenched on his thighs. Cassia, watching all this, let out a snort.
“Why are you so nervous?”
“W-what?”
How could he not be nervous? He was about to meet his wife’s parents for the first time. And the Count of Ruberno wasn’t exactly an easy man to face.
As a magnate representing the South, he was a noble who wielded power on par with Count Axios in the North.
Seeing Zester so obviously anxious, Cassia felt a little guilty. She could already imagine how uncomfortable the next few days in Ruberno would be for him.
“Come here.”
“Hm?”
He had been fiddling with his neck so much that his white cravat had come loose. Sitting across from him, Cassia leaned in and straightened his collar.
At her gentle touch, Zester’s cheeks turned red. He couldn’t bring himself to look at her focused face any longer and turned his gaze away.
Unlike Zester, who had gone all out with his outfit, Cassia looked simple: the same sky-blue dress she’d worn when she first came to Greze, a coat Zester had gifted her, light makeup, and her long silver hair pinned neatly up. Yet, she was so lovely he could hardly meet her eyes. Zester figured he would never grow immune to how beautiful his wife was.
“Wh-when do we arrive?”
“We’re already here.”
He stammered to cover his flustered thoughts, but sure enough, the carriage was now crossing Ruberno Castle drawbridge. Zester jolted with a start.
Neigh!
The horses screeched as the reins were pulled taut.
Zester stiffened completely. As soon as the carriage stopped, unfamiliar faces appeared beyond the window.
A group of about twenty attendants stood in two rows, and four nobles in fine clothing had come personally to greet them.
Good heavens. Even with just a glance through the window, Zester could tell at once who the Count of Ruberno was.
Beside him stood Lady Estella Ruberno, the second daughter, with honey-gold hair like her mother, and Allen Ruberno, the heir. And between them stood a silver-haired, imposing man, undoubtedly Cassia’s father.
Already flustered, Zester opened the door without waiting for the coachman. Just before he stepped down, he realized he forgot to grab the precious gifts they loaded on the carriage and turned back to grab them at the last second.
Cassia lightly scolded him to leave them to the attendants, but that went ignored.
Burdened like a refugee with packages tucked under both arms, Zester strode quickly to face the Ruberno family.
The Count’s blue eyes, so much like Cassia’s, stared impassively at his new son-in-law.
“It’s an honor to meet you. I’m Zester Greze. I should’ve paid my respects much earlier, but only now, after your kind invitation, am I able to visit. I apologize for the delay.”
His mind had gone blank, and he’d nearly forgotten his prepared greeting, but he somehow got it out.
The response, however, was lukewarm.
The Count, his wife, and their children simply looked him up and down with cool, unreadable eyes.
Had he done something wrong? Or were they in a bad mood today?
Just then, Cassia, who had gotten down from the carriage a step later, came up behind him.
And then, the icy expression on the Count’s face melted like snow in spring. No, melted wasn’t even the right word. He beamed, showing teeth, and strode forward with open arms.
And he swept right past Zester to pull Cassia into a tight embrace.
“It’s been too long, my daughter.”
Caught in her father’s hug, Cassia’s flustered eyes met Zester, who looked back at the two people embarrassing with an awkward look all over his face.
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